return my video game
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
