Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
