Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize