i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
