Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
