Non-Jews are for practice
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
