Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
