he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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