Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize