sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
