TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
