I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
