So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
