wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
