I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
