One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize