She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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