Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize