What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
