cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
