It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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