Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
