I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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