11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize