I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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