dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
