i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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