yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
