she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize