I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
