No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
