I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
