it wasn't lemon gatorade
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
