there was a trapeze. enough said
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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