Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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