It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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