I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
