So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
