Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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