What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
