other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
