it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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