nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
