Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
