Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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