How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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