ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
