mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
