We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Fuck appropriateness.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
