dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
