I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
