dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
