For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
