We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
