i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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