just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
