Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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