let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
