We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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