So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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