And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize