Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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